Friday, June 13, 2008

Chrissi B! a note on Dads ...

Father's Day is Sunday. I don't like Father's Day much since I lost my dad. The cards that I do not buy and the gifts we do not share, put a damper on my day. My dad would be sad to hear me say that. He would be upset with me, so I celebrate the day FOR him. I celebrate how lucky I have been to have strong men in my life. Great uncles, a good brother, good friends, a marvelous husband, and yes, a wonderful father.


Dads are a great "life gift", don't you think? A dad can smooth the waters between a mom and a daughter. A dad can make you laugh, when you really want to scream. A dad often brings a different set of rules to the family table. Needed rules. The "no rules" rules.


For some unknown reason, Father's Day greetings and cards rack up less sales then those for Mother's Day. Why is that? In my own life, my dad always made sure I was ready for Mother's Day. Did I have a gift? Were we doing something special? But when it came to "his day", he would casually brush off Father's Day. Not quite so important. Don't make a fuss.


Are we so casual with Dad's day because the celebration is newer than that of Mother's Day? I think not. I tend to believe that it is because men are usually far more easy going. If by chance you forget your dad, you know he would understand. Forget your mom and ...Well you just wouldn't ever hear the end of it?


I often find myself privy to conversations about dads being the "unnecessary" parent. The expendable parent. "A child can grow up without a dad just fine, but take away their mom and ...", went a recent conversation in my life. I don't buy that one.


A child needs all the cheerleaders they can get. They need all of the love and attention they can come by. Not mom love or dad love. Just love.


I am a firm believer that all children benefit from the love and knowledge and learning's of BOTH parents. Call me idealistic? Yes, I am. Call me simple? Okay, I will wear that badge too. But if we are labeling, just call me honest.


Yes, the world would be a better place IF both parents did live happier ever after ....But they do not. We know that! As I look around me I find the happiest children are the children that have had access to both parents, married or not. Children that have been exposed to two sets of dreams and realities, and two sets of opinions seem a bit more open and balanced. Geography does not separate children from mothers and fathers, we do! We need to take full responsibility for relationships, good and bad.


We talk about open borders and open minds, yet we close our hearts with ease.


We dream of television families and perfect parents. We blame and cower. Yet we tend to forget the flip side of that dream ...A perfect mom and dad would need the perfect child. I am not sure about you, but I was not the perfect child. Nor was I expected to be. I was encouraged to be my own self, yet I expected the "cookie-cutter" perfect parents.


It is not my intention to vent to preach. I simply have noticed that when you lose someone, you tend to look at things a bit differently. When you acknowledge the celebrations of fathers and uncles and granddads, you tend to recall how lucky your were to have them in your life.


Sunday, I will celebrate the men who have shown me another side to living. I will celebrate being tossed in the air and caught in mid-flight. I celebrate stern words with humor. I celebrate being loved.


Remember Father's Day. Call a friend, an uncle, your brother, or if you are lucky enough to have a dad in your life .....Call. Celebrate a day of love ...enjoy!

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